‘Twas The Night Before Christmas In Mayberry

‘Twas the night before Christmas when all through the courthouse
Not a creechsture was stirring, not even a loaded goat…or mouse,
Barney in the back room and Otis full of booze
Had just settled down for a long winter’s snooze
The rifles and guns had been put up with care,
In hopes that Barney would not go there.
The Taylor family all tucked in their beds
The whole town slumbered few worries in their heads.
When at Mrs Wiley’s house there arose a clatter
And through her front window a rock did shatter.
When what to her wondering eyes should appear
But a giggling man shouting rhymes she could hear.
He cackled and capered and giggled with glee,
“It’s me, it’s me, It’s Ernest T.”
“That creature is doing more than stirring” shouted Mrs Wiley,
“Quick call the sherrif, call Barney, call the Mayor most highly.”.
More rapid than eagles the lawmen they came,
Shouting and ranting and calling by name:
“Come, Ernest T, on to the jail–
You’ve done it again, throwing rocks in a pail!
Come Barney, come Goober, come Gomer, come Floyd!
Bring Ernest T in! I am VERY annoyed!”
“Gentlemen, please wait!” Romeena said to those meeting,
“It’s just his way of sending a Christmas greeting.”
And then in a twinkling I knew that above
All the prancing and tossing, Ernest T sent his love…
His tooth – how it sparkled! His eyes were so merry!
A veritable elf from the hills of Mayberry!
And dressed all in red from his cap to his socks,
His small belly shook… like a bag full of rocks!
Mrs Wiley declared, “If he will pay for the repairs I’ll let it pass.”
But everone agreed they hadn’t seen the last of Ernest T Bass.
Barney’s thin lips were drawn down in a frown;
He shouted, “We need to send that Bass boy on outta town!”
Ernest T’s chin quivered and he cackled with glee–
“I’ll get her a window, but you can’t catch me!”
And we heard him exclaim ‘ere he ran out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all, I am through for the night!”
by the Mayberry USA EZBoard Gang
December 2006


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