The Legacy of “Always Try:” How My Father’s Silence Taught Me to Keep Going

“I can do all this through Him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).

Many of us carry lessons from our parents that only become clear years later. For me, one of the most lasting came from my father—not through long conversations, but through simple instructions he repeated when I complained that I couldn’t do something: “Don’t say can’t,” and “always try.” Those short pieces of advice, paired with his silent belief in me, shaped how I built a publishing ministry and kept going through decades of difficulty and change.

If you had asked me when I started building a publishing and journalism ministry who inspired my work, I would not have named my quiet father. We had become somewhat estranged in my teen years. Although we had been close when I was a little girl, he was not a demonstrative man and didn’t know how to relate to a teenage girl. However, in his awkward, taciturn way, he tried. I just wasn’t listening. Then, like many young adults eager to build their own path, I moved out, married, and moved on, putting distance between my career and my roots.

During those years, my father’s world grew increasingly silent. He had been a decorated World War II officer, a diplomat, and later the security officer in charge of Presidential visits for the Corps of Engineers when I was young. But as I moved on to my own calling, his world grew inward—he retired, lost much of his hearing, turned increasingly to alcohol, and eventually slipped into the fog of Alzheimer’s. By the time I stepped back in to try to help him several years later, the chance for a deep, two-way conversation had passed.

Yet when I was recently asked by Influential Women about my greatest influences, his memory was the first thing that came to mind. The best advice I ever received came directly from him: “Don’t say can’t,” and “always try.”

Long before I entered the world of publishing, my father was laying the groundwork for whatever the Lord would call me to do. But his unshakeable faith in me meant even more than his words.

Growing up in abject rural poverty, he pushed past every obstacle to make a career for himself. He was the one who encouraged my writing, teaching me the basics of writing press releases and pitching articles. He gave me the practical tools to be heard and the education to succeed. More importantly, he believed in me and instilled the mindset I would need: persistence, integrity, and absolute resilience.

Work hard. Find a solution. Keep going. That simple philosophy has guided every professional and personal milestone I’ve reached, carrying me through decades of change in the publishing world. As Galatians 6:9 reminds us, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

For a long time I carried the weight of the years we lost. But regret is only useful if it drives us toward something better. Today I am honoring his legacy the best way I know how—by writing a book about his life. I am taking the very skills he taught me and using them to tell the story of the man who refused to give up and who, by God’s grace, instilled in me the motivation to keep going.

We don’t always realize the impact of our foundations while we are standing on them. My father’s life wasn’t perfect, but his belief in me was absolute. Learning to believe in myself, to try, and never give up, was the greatest gift he ever gave me. As Galatians 6:9 says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

Looking back, I see that the greatest gifts are sometimes the quietest ones. My father’s insistence on trying, and his steady belief in me, became a foundation I still stand on. In the work of writing, publishing, and pressing forward when the path is hard, that simple charge remains: always try. And as Scripture reminds us, we are not left to do it in our own strength: “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Essayons, Dad.

Read the business version on Influential Women: The Legacy of “Always Try”: How My Father’s Silence Taught Me Success