Romance in Mayberry

Barney had a sweetheart
Her name was Thelma Lou
And they were fond of the duck pond
Where they would sit and coo.
Andy’s steady girlfriend
Was Helen Crump you know,
And they’d tarry in Mayberry
Where couples often go.
Goober’s girlfriend, Flora,
Gave him a better plate
Hoping no doubt he’d ask her out,
and soon she had a date.
So if you’d like some romance
There’s just one place to be
A Valentine sure to be fine
With love from Mayberry.
by Kathryn E. Darden
Valentine’s Day in Mayberry
In Mayberry it’s Valentine’s Day
What are the lovers up to?
Come with me as I go my way
to see who’s in love with who.
On a porch sits Andy Taylor,
Helen Crump sits by his side.
He asks if they should stay or
to the duck pond take a ride.
But Bernard P. Fife is already there
with his sweetheart Thelma Lou.
She’s fun-lovingly messed up his hair
and kissed lipstick on him, too!
Gomer Pyle is away at the Marines
but still he has a love to swoon
Next to Lou-Ann Poovie he sings
“By the Light of the Slivery Moon”
Goober took Flora to Morelli’s to dine
they’ve got dancing there too, you know.
He promised her daddy they’d be back by nine,
So they didn’t get to see the floorshow.
Well, folks that ends our tour
I hope you had a good time.
Next year I’ll show you more,
providing I’ve got a good rhyme.
“Opie Taylor,” Hickory, NC
Barn & Thel ‘66
All alone and feeling blue,
Thinking of Barn and Thelma Lou.
A store window future they did see,
Apparently never meant to be.
Ask her not forever to wait,
Never another Tuesday night date.
No more cashew fudge to eat.
No pitter-patter of little feet.
Time has swiftly passed along.
Why does it all seem so wrong?
Together they shared one last dance,
Gone is the taste of sweet romance.
Barn could’ve had a richer life,
With pretty Thel as his wife.
Why did he let her go astray?
Could not he see her beautiful way?
My thoughts now began to fade,
Of a solemn vow never made.
Of broken hearts long to mend,
Curtains, Fini, the end
Virgil Hosh, KY
Assorted Limericks
There was a family named Dar-Ling
One of ’em always had a marryin’ thing
Charlene sure was perty
The boys kinda dirty
But boy could they all play and sing
There was a lady named Mary Grace
Who didn’t have the prettiest face
Gomer had to think twice
when he kept hearin’ she was “Nice”
but they romanced and danced at a dizzying pace
There was a Lady named Thelma Lou
Teasin’ Barney was one thing she’d do
Gomer noticed her good looks
Edgar C. had her work on hymn-books
But she stuck to her Fife man like glue
There was a school girl named Karen
who was so cute she had poor Opie starin’
He stood on his head to woo ‘er
Gave her the grand courthouse tour
but what joined them was a “grown woman” scarin’
There was a manicurist named Ellen Brown
who came looking for a friendly sort of town
She manicured the fellas
“til the ladies got jealous
‘Cause her good looks had the guys chins dropping down
Joe Gritton, Westfield Indiana
There once was a warbling deputy,
Whose love songs defied serendipity.
Each tone was unique –
Each and every last squeak,
As he sang to Juanita some love ditty.
There also was in the same town a man
Who thought women needed a firmer hand
Part of his game plan
Involved a leg of lamb –
Sometimes it’s the only thing they understand.
For romance you might just need a looking glass
If a rock doesn’t shatter it sailing past.
For love in the hills
You might enjoy the thrills
Of romancing the rock throwing Mr. Bass.
Warren was a sleep-walking deputy,
Bumbling by day, but asleep quite witty.
He wooed not a frump
Choosing lovely Miss Crump,
But he slept through it all – what a great pity!
Kathryn E. Darden, Nashville, TN
To submit your verse about “Romance in Mayberry,” email your poem of 20 lines or less to Mayberry Poem.
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