Single, single, single...Why in the world do people, especially couples, think that being
single is some sort of disease?!? Something that they must fix right away! Oh, I hear
you are single......let me see, I have a neighbor that has a cousin that is passing through
town in a month and she is single too. I'm sure I could set you two up on a date! Oh
she has a few teeth missing but don't worry, she doesn't smile that much, so you
probably won't even notice. But if you do take her out to eat, the gapping hole in her
teeth might begin to dominate your attention, especially when the food starts to shoot
out as fast as she shovels it in! So just divert your focus to the gigantic wart right in
the middle of her forehead! If you look real quick, you might mistake her for having three
eyes, which can be very useful in birthing a little humor into your evening while at the
same time becoming a fun game if the conversation starts to stall a bit! Oh...but..
really, she can be a lot of fun once you get past all of her physical abnormalities, years
of pent up anger, aggression and baggage!
Now, if she doesn't strike your fancy, then
boy are you in luck, I could set you up right away with my sister! That is, if you don't
have a problem with female-pattern-baldness?? You just say the word and I will set the
"blind-date-wheels" in motion with one quick phone call...... to my Mom and dad's house!
Ya know, she has had the same room for 35 years. Isn't that amazing? Now how
many people her age do you know that still live at home? Rent free I might add! She
has a savings account that would put most married couples to shame.... a "financial
wizard" she is! But really, my sister's got a very cute face....as long as she keeps on that hat I bought
her! Bless her sweet little heart, when it comes off, I could swear I am looking at my
father! And, that has got nothing to do with her slight facial hair or the bald spots on her head! She has his
cheekbones and eyes. Anyywhoooo, you just say the word and I can make it happen!
(response).. Oh ya...for sure...oh let me think...I have got to get a cortisone shot,
noooooo root canal, oh ya how silly of me, I have invited my long lost cousin over tonight
for an Amway presentation.....Sorry, I guess I?ll have to just take a brain wreck....I mean
rain check on that..ahhhh..... ?evening o'fun?!
What is that all about! This is the
mindset of a salesman with a massive head injury. DUHH!!!!! Putting the absolute
worst things out there first as if ?that's? going to attract you to this total
stranger?!! They are trying to entice you to go on a date with someone, and the only
things you hear coming out of the "seller's" mouth paints a pretty bleak picture. Could
you imagine a car salesman meeting you out on the lot and pointing to a car, the first
words he says is, ?Rotten paint job....I know, but at least she's got a lot of miles....tranny
is about to go, but all the tires are brand spankin' new!! I could guarantee her for at
least a month...five weeks tops... that is if you don't take er' past 55mph!? That would
never happen, with any other salesman!
So what is going on in these situations? Single
does not by any stretch of the imagination mean, "desperate" or I cannot get a date!!
Good things don't always have to come in pairs! I think in our society, we are so "couple
oriented" that it blends over into our "AWWW ..Whew.....NOW he/she is finished!"....
attitude! If that is the case....think about how we use the word "PAIR"...does it always
mean TWO????? HUH???? Don't be so quick to jump to conclusions!
Explain the reason that we referred to underwear are as "a pair" when they are only "one" piece of clothing?? I don't
know about you, underwear for me goes on as a single item. The same goes for "Pair of
slacks", "Pair of jeans"......"Pair of glasses" Am I missing something, I don't get it??
Because if I buy gloves, I want a "Pair"..same goes for socks, bookends and twinkies, I
want TWO! So you can't just say it is the terminology, 'cause that doesn't fly!
we are on the terminology topic..why in the world is the zipper referred to as the "FLY" ??
That is one part of my pants I don't....at any time..... want to fly, I want it to stay right
there with no expectation or anticipation of going anywhere!)
Now back to the pairs,
many good things come by themselves. It all has to do with your perspective! There are
some things you don't want coming in pairs; a mortgage payment, birthdays, a virus,
traffic ticket, or salesmen. See, it is all how you look at it! Proving once again, that
everybody is different and that is great!
We are all individuals, God made us all unique
for a reason, we all have a different purpose and reason for being here! Some will be
more effective as a team, and some more effective ?solo?. But, that doesn't mean
that one tool is better or more efficient than the other. Say for example, you've been
underneath a car for 45 minutes fighting to reach just one bolt. You finally reach it,
and to your dismay... the tool in your hand is a Phillips-head screwdriver and the bolt
needs a Standard..and the Standard-head screwdriver is up on the tool bench, way out
of reach!! Now the Phillips is not a bad tool, just not the right one for this job!! We
can't all be Standards, because who would reach the "Phillips"? (Although, some try to
interchange the two.) This only mars them up, making it hard for either tool be to
effective! Just remember, that next time you try to readjust or set up a single person.
For some, "Singleness" is a calling, not a "Cursing"! Everyone is equipped by God for a
specific job, blessed with talents and gifts for a particular mission, that only WE can
accomplish. Remember that the next time you are introduced to a single person....... just
think "underwear"......I have got on just one "pair", and that is working out
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